When Ava was in nursery, ‘Parents day’ was a brief chat about how she loved to put sand in her hair and how she enjoyed using the hand dryers in the bathroom. So i was overly excited to be going to her first official parents evening, now that she was in school for the full day. I hated it when she first started. You go from spending every day together, and being involved in their everyday activities to hearing about how much fun they’ve had in school with Miss Wonderful.
So like i said, i was eager to meet this fabulous teacher and hear all about Ava’s first year. I thought i would make the effort and chuck on some lipstick, cover my face in dream lumi concealer and attempted to polish up my messy bun, into a slightly less messy bun. I was feeling great and my son was actually behaving, so with the meeting being at 3.35 and Ava finishing at 3 O’clock, we decided to kill some time and pop over to Greggs for an after school treat.
After having a ten minute debate over which cake to choose with a picky five year old (custard slices/ fresh cream doughnuts being off limits!) we finally get back to the car with fifteen minutes to eat, before i’m vigorously rubbing the kids down with a pack of wet wipes and we’re making our way over to the school hall. With the kids being on a sugar rush, i was starting to doubt that “after school treat”. I had them both running in opposite directions across the grass, it was like a wild goose chase! I had to sprint after them and pick Emmet up and corner Ava into the hall.
It was jam packed and all the gym benches were full, so i spotted a window ledge just small enough to fit two little bottoms on. The kids were happy, i was happy, and i could see that we were next to be seen by Miss Wonderful. Of course, i’m stood there looking all smug with my well behaved children, when all of a sudden there was an overbearing stench of poop.
Looking slightly less smug, i realize the overbearing stench is probably coming from my well behaved son (pulls back nappy, and to my surprise it’s empty) My first thought was yes, not my child who stinks!! but that was soon shattered by Ava shouting “Mummy, why have you got mud all over your trousers?” I looked down and there it was! My jeans, my coat, even my t-shirt all covered in dog sh*t!
How? Ah yes, my well behaved son who was running riot out on the grass had stomped in it all and then when i had picked him up, it had spread all over my clothes. Having only a ‘handy pack’ of wet wipes in my bag, i was stood wiping myself down as if i was on fire! but the wipes were so small it just ended up smearing all through the wet wipe onto my hands. I was next to be seen and couldn’t let Emmet walk over in his sh*tty shoes, so i had to take them off and squish them into my beloved handbag.
Before i got the chance to do anything else Miss Wonderful called out Ava’s name. I was sat down looking and smelling like a bag of sh*t…literally, whilst my son was busy sliding around the hall in his socks. To add to my horror, i looked over to the window where we had been sitting and saw two little girls sat on the pile of sh*tty wet wipes i had left there. I was mortified! I had forgot all about them. I just wanted to hurry up and get out before everyone noticed the stink lines coming from me!
Miss wonderful handed me a load of books filled with pictures and drawings, and i suddenly forgot that i was covered in sh*t. It was so cute! She told me that Ava is very polite and well mannered, and always try’s her best. My favorite was a picture of the ‘things i love the most’ which was a drawing of her family and she had tried to spell everyone’s names too. She also told me that Ava is a delight to teach and that she is very settled with her group of friends. I was so happy, it was such a proud mummy moment for me.
I then had to sneak out whilst avoiding any eye contact with other parents. It was a great ending to an eventful day. We wen’t home and the kids had a hot bubble bath. I on the other hand bathed in disinfectant and sipped on a big tasty glass of wine. Like the saying goes…sh*t happens, but life goes on 🙂
Thanks for reading
(pic sourced from Pinterest)