Whilst there’s no official motherhood manual, and your basically just thrown in head first. Once your doing it, you get it. Along with all the weird and wonderful things, here are just some of them you never thought you would be doing…
Carrying around random child items in your bag
No matter how old your kids are, and whether it be in your pockets or your handbag, there’s always that random toy or some dead flowers that were picked just for mum. Whatever it is, whenever we come across it on our own, it sure brings a smile to our face.
Doing a ventriloquist act whilst on a shopping trip
I can’t be the only one who does this? you know, the one where your in a supermarket and your child has decided to ransack the pick N mix selection. Your trying to wrestle the gummy bears out of a death grip, whilst trying not to draw attention to the hundreds of bon bons scattered across the floor. Your lips are pursed, as you mumble between your clenched teeth “wait until we get home boy” all this whilst keeping a smile on your face. Keith Harris got nothing on us mamas!
You check for breathing
You creep into your child’s room after bedtime, and hover over them staring endlessly at their chests until you see some kind of movement. Just to make sure they’re still alive. (Yes! I just seen a breath!)
Eating the leftovers on the kids’ plates instead of serving yourself.
It’s safe to say that no leftovers get wasted in this house. You know the saying ‘Waste not, want not’ it has to be one of the highlights of having children…especially when you get to polish of the kids ice-cream. Get in!
You use saliva as an efficient cleaning method
It’s a cliche mum manoeuvre , but when there’s no wet wipes the good old spit and rub method works a charm.
Telling your kids your food is spicy so they don’t try it
Ah, this comes from standing out the kitchen for 2 hours prepping dinner, and sitting down to have yours a little later than the kids. Even though they have had the exact same dish, even on the exact same plate, they still demand to “try” some of mummy’s. My response is always this “ah, mummy’s got pepper on hers” always make’s me feel mean, but a mama’s got to eat!
Ah, the joys of motherhood.
Thanks for reading X